thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

SLEEP TIME IS NOW

SWEET DREAMS HUMAN

I WILL BE HERE, SHARING MY WARMTHS 

I GOOD DOG

I KEEP MY HUMAN SAFE 

Anónimo: Is your dick hard?

20daysofjune:

no but life is

bjokr:

introducing myself in the first day of school

image

chicken-buddha:

you ignorant fool

after i fainted

nurse: how many fingers?
me: 3 with some lube

jerkpattillo:

ungratefullittleshit:

i’m feeling sick

no no no no

at a horror movie

bf: are you scared?
me: in this economy who wouldn't be

joshpeck:

when you’re on the computer all night so you lose track of time and you hear the birds start to chirp outside

image

theonion:

PRO: Get to puncture child with needle

CON: You have to go to a place